December is here

     It is December 1st and the holiday season is better than ever. I love this time of year, the semi-cool weather that we are having, the christmas music on the radio, the thoughts of my kids happy faces as they open their christmas presents in 24 more days. I love this time of year, I love spending time with my family and carrying on traditions that we have had since I was a small child. As my family (mom, sisters, and brothers) carry on with our traditions I often forget that I now have a family of my own with no traditions. I often forget that the traditions that I consider "normal" or expected are not the same for my other half and his children. Durand was brought up Jahova Witness so though he doesn't practice this religion he is not use to the holiday traditions that I was raised to be accustomed to. I have never asked him if he wanted to start a new Christmas tradition, I didn't think he really cared, but I think it is time we find something that we would like our kids to say to their kids "we did this when we were little". At Halloween Durand carved his first ever pumpkin, on Thanksgiving he is cooking for me, the kids, my mom, sibblings, and nephews instead of just him and his kids, and on Christmas eve I expect all of us to go to my moms because we grew up going to our grandparents and giving the kids pj's because that is what we did. I never asked how he felt about it and although he doesn't mind he would like to set our own traditions. Growing up and bringing two families with two different histories is hard, however, this is going to be fun. We are going to give our children the experiances I had as a child and some new ones. We are going to show our children what it is like to be part of a strong, close, and loving family. We are going to create love and bonds within them that they will never leave behind. This is what the holidays are all about, this is what parenting is all about. I am grateful for the gifts my mom gave me, the gifts that did not come in gift wrap, that weren't bought in the stores. I am so hopeful that our children will be grateful for the gifts they are unaware of, the gifts of love, connection, and history.

My brother may be the best choice yet...........

     At the beginning of the year my brother Cory did not get custody of his son after his son was severly abused because he does not believe he should have to take domestic violence classes. All charges were dropped against Cory for the abuse of his son and his ex (the baby's mom) was the one charged with failure to protect. Since his ex took the domestic violence classes she was awarded custody of their little boy, but yet again did she "fail to protect"? Her boyfriend or maybe now ex-boyfriend was picked up for murder, murdering a 59 year old man.......here is the news story http://www.actionnewsjax.com/mostpopular/story/Man-arrested-for-murder-on-Larsen-Rd-not-original/nFQNVuqWOEKNE97agRNOXw.cspx

     Is it now time for the courts to give my brother, the innocent parent a chance to raise his son? We don't even know if the baby is for sure my brother's baby, but we love him enough that we want him out of harms way. Domestic violence classes does not mean a child is safe, and it does not mean that the domestic violence in that persons life is over. Changes to the legal system needs to be made......Lets take our kids out of harms way, what if the baby were the one involved in this shooting? What if the man got away with it and someone wanted to retaliate and the bullet that was meant for "Whoodie" ended up killing my nephew? Changes need to be made, this little boy needs to be in a safe and loving environment.......

This month is almost over but the best is yet to come

     Two birthdays have come and past this month, two birthdays that are very important and very sad for me. The first birthday is my only big brother Tony's birthday, his is sad for me because I have not seen him since I was in the fourth grade, almost 20 years ago. My brother is a parinoid schizophrenic and lives a life many of us cannot understand. My brother's illness has made it so we don't know where he is, but that doesn't mean we don't all miss and love him very much. The second birthday belongs to my beautiful baby niece Tianna. Tianna would be 13 this year, however, instead of her being here with us creating wonderful memories with our family she is in Heaven with our heavenly father. She passed when she was 3 1/2 months old due to a doctors negligence. I know she is with us and I am sure she knows we are with her. On her birthday every year I cry for my sister, a beautiful woman that had to endure such a painful situation but she did it with beauty just like everything else she does.

    

     The best part of this month will be here in a week. My sisters, brothers, brothers girlfriends, nephews and mother will all be down here for Thankgiving. I love having my family with me and I miss them all so much so this is definately the highlight of my month of November. With November being an emotional month with Adoption awareness and the two birthdays I need to have some fun and some family love surrounding me. I am so thankful for so many things and my family is what I am most thankful for.

November is an Important Month

     This is the month of Adoption Awareness which of course is very near and dear to me. This is the month that I feel birth parents need to be recognized. This is the month that we need to be heard so people can understand what type of people birth parents really are. This is the month that we need to give thanks to our childrens "forever families" and they should be doing the same to us, the mothers that made it possible for them to create the beautiful families they have created. This is the month that we need to speak out about adoption and let it be know that there are more choices then just two. ADOPTION IS AN OPTION and it is better than the option of an abortion. As painful as it is to let go of your beautiful child and place him/her into another mothers arms it is less painful then killing your child. We need to let it be known that adoption is a way you can let go but still be involved. We need to raise up and let people see how proud we are of what we have chosen to do in our lives and with the lives we have created. This is the beginning of a new journey for me.....this month I have chosen to be heard, I have chosen to make people aware of the pure joy and happiness that can come from the most painful time in my life. This is when I will take a hold of my past and raise up, this is when I will take all of the pain from my past and use it for the good of others.

     To anyone that knows a birth mother let her know what a blessing she is. For those who know adoptive parents let them know what a blessing they are. Everyone in the adoption traid is a blessing and we couldn't have one without the other.